The Partnership of Goals and Discipline

Ok, so this past Saturday in my LC training, I was asked to list the goals I had set for myself in my lifetime that I actually accomplished, and then again for the goals I set and didn't accomplish. The first thing that caught me was my very short list of goals.....in my life? Given my childhood, I was on survival mode, self-victimized by my fractured family. I can remember at 14 wondering why I had so much responsibility? Well, I knew why - I just wanted to know why? I was only 14 - surely there had to be a better plan for me out there! When I realized that most of my life has been a journey of survival, it's no wonder I didn't have more goals.

When I looked at the goals I set and didn't accomplish? Well...as a young adult I wanted to learn to play the piano. More recently was the desire to read more fiction. I don't have a problem with the non-fiction books....there are a slew of them, and they are heavily tabbed. However, even more recent than the desire to read more was the image was one, overwhelming treadmill. I think I've owned it for 3?, 4? years?, and can admit to wasting the space it sits in. However, this treadmill is the answer to three things - it will be serving for me the actuality of goals, discipline and losing the marriage weight. It dawned on me all the guilt I have felt for wasting this piece of equipment, but more so, it serves as a way to remind me of failed promises to myself.

So, why is personal discipline so difficult? One easy answer.....if we blow something off that isn't life threatening or mandatory, it's very easy to be un-disciplined. Rationalization for changing our mind, changing our plan, changing our motives - the one thing consistent is the word change. When we 'change' our minds etc, the only one we're fooling is ourselves.....because we are the accountable party, rationalization becomes our partner....not the goal or the discipline.

I have wanted to lose the marriage weight since I left the marriage, but I certainly didn't want to announce it....more accountability. I slowly cut back, and over 8 mths time I lost 16 lbs. Now that's wonderful, and I do feel a little lighter....however, no one noticed because I need to lose at least 25 before the world sees the result.

My LC training is putting the treadmill on my forehead for lack of a better metaphor. Debbie, my trainer, helped me approach the dreaded treadmill in a different way. She shared the story of Chantel Hobbs who has written a book on weight loss. She used a 5 x 30 x 4 program. When Debbie explained the concept of the program and the motive to changing our brain, I was instantly intrigued. Could I partner my goals with this kind of discipline? The 5 x 30 x 4 explains disciplining myself to 5 days, 30 minutes, and 4 weeks. Bite size goals.....which builds the discipline and helps me lose the weight, dismiss the guilt of looking at an unused treadmill, AND serves as a way for me to realize my "authentic self."

Last night, I spontaneously sat down to my computer, and decided to develop my program....taking a piece of Hobbs plan as well as a commentary Debbie made to me when she shared another story of how her friend, (who apparently doesn't need to exercise, 'cause she's in shape - I know where you just went in your mind! Duh, her exercising is keeping her in shape, what a concept) states she just needs "to get it over with." She runs every morning and gets it over with. I have developed my personal "GET IT OVER WITH PROGRAM." I even drew up a contract to myself to remind me of my new found desire for discipline.

Happy to say I woke up this morning at the specified time, walked the 30 minutes, and I got it over with. Guess what? It was so easy....I just had to be ready for a concept I could wrap my head around.

I chose - it wasn't something I had to do, like empty kitty litter.....it was something I chose to do for myself. In doing we teach, in doing we learn.

Happy Monday everyone!